Rushing To The Altar…I do?

Back when I was 25 I had just gotten out of a long emotionally abusive engagement and then out of a short rebound relationship that got violent. I was on the mends as they like to say. So I was feeling down and out. My frame of mind was that I would never ever get married and just be pushed to the side like an old potato sack that had seen too much. Perfect time for my mid-twenties crisis! Well in my haste to just do things I met this guy and a few months later . . . we were married. I feel like I just settled because I was so pressured by society and my fear that I would never find someone just pushed me to be irrational. Well obviously that union didn’t last long. I left for a work project and a week later my ex-husband started acting crazy which was my chance to exit the union I so hastily entered. It took about 8 months to file for divorce and get it finalized due to my being out of town for so long which was way longer than we had been married in the first place.

All this was so out of character for me. I still believe in the concept of marriage and the sanctity of the union between two people who commit to make a life together. So for me to do that all because I felt the societal pressures and weight of the rebound was seriously stupid. The lesson in it all for me was that I should never just succumb to the pressures of society or my peers or my family and should follow my own path in life. I promised myself after that fiasco to keep my own counsel from now on and really, the next time I decide to don a white dress, which I will someday, I will do so because it really truly is with someone I love that I can see myself building an empire with. That person won’t need me to save them or isn’t obligated to be with me. We will be together because we love the people we become when we are together. There is not a deadline or time constraint for when we must marry or have children. So for those of you out there rushing to live the life that others think you should have, stop and think about it. This is your life and there is no point wasting time on someone or something you don’t think is right for you!

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