One of the stories of my life in song is Big Sean’s “Don’t tell me you love me”. The line that hits that gut reaction with me is “What’s the perfect girl if it’s not the perfect time”. Let that marinate for a second. You would assume if you met the “perfect” girl for you that then your days of being single are completely done for the time being. Well that’s not always true is it . . . Sometimes it just seems like the storylines of fate always want to twist and wind to make it comically inconvenient to be with this “perfect” other half of you. The storyline of the song is pretty much about a guy who found the perfect girl for him but isn’t able to be completely involved/faithful because he’s just not ready to commit yet to one woman in his life. What do you guys think about that? Is there a point of life when a man is finally ready for commitments? I personally don’t think I’m ready yet. Just don’t have the energy but I’m also tired of hearing men telling me about how they wish they would’ve met me before the last one ex or how I would make a GREAT gf . . . for some lucky guy . . . one day . . . Okay . . . Next, and I’m not even talking about marriage right now.
Let’s explore that idea though. Why is it that men can’t commit when they find someone that compliments them? If you have read Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man by Steve Harvey your response may be “YES, there is a certain time for them to be ready”. Although a lot of males will absolutely reject the book or anything he says in it, he does make some good points. For an instance, if you, a man, isn’t happy with your career or the amount of money you are making then is it true that you are also not available to be with a woman the way you would or she would like? The idea behind this truth that men are unavailable when unstable is that we raise our men with the mentality that they are to be the providers. We have come a long way for women to also play that contributing role to the household but for as long as we have been a patriarchy, men have been indoctrinated to be the breadwinners of the family. So if a man can’t feel confident in his role of being the “man of the house” then he’s either too busy or not able to take care of that so called “perfect” woman. Makes sense to me. I mean seriously women, how can he court you if he doesn’t have the time or money???
Then of course there’s always the idea that men are most of the times full of shit and everything they say out of their mouths are nice things in order for them to get into girls pants, then move on. That’s what just about every heartbroken woman would say anyways. I’d like to think that they are at least good 25% of the time and that they are being honest for that short while and doing things for the greater good. Hopefully more . . . we can only hope. It’s hard not to generalize when I hear the same thing from multiple sources and when I get the confirmation from other women that I’m not the only one who hears these things. For me I just think that people come across each other’s paths for a number of reasons. We never truly know what could’ve been or why something doesn’t happen. I just chill and focus on the things I can control. My life, my career, my money, etc. Like the saying goes, “it’s never when you want it but it’s always on time”. So why waste time on someone? Obviously we are confused about the signals you guys are sending sooooo PLEASE MEN COMMENT BELOW AND LET US WOMEN KNOW WHAT IS UP!
What does that phrase mean to you, “What’s the perfect girl if it’s not the perfect time”?