Remember when dating was easy? No? Well that’s because it hasn’t be easy for a long time now! Once we moved away from arranged marriages between different bands of small populations it became so complicated. It evolved into a monetary transaction between families. This was still way better than now. Then there was the chivalrous phase where men courted the women they were interested in. You know exactly who wanted you and they made their intentions known. Not only that, but that man was looking to put a ring on it! Fast forward to the present times . . . Now it’s a HOT MESS. I say that because now, you have no idea what a man’s intention is . . . besides tryna get a woman’s cookie. Not only that but there are few arranged marriages and where marriage used to be a merging of different families, there’s not much anyone can do about two people that want to date. Especially since families these days are getting further and further apart from each other. Some people don’t even communicate with the individuals in their household. Romeo and Juliet can both be tossed into the streets but instead of having to kill themselves, they can both still live a fulfilled life without their families or approval. That means that the institution of marriage has become less valued in society because it is no longer needed for advancement or security. Hence, the high divorce rates. Anyone can grind their way up from the gutter and anyone can fall from the top. With individual people having so much more control of their destinies in society the whole institution of dating becomes a want and not a need. People are fickle and so is the dating scene!
What’s also become fickle is the jargon used to describe the acts of dating! No one is clear about anything which obviously can lead to confusion and embarrassment. What means one thing to one person, means something completely different to someone else. Those phrases are then completely different to people in different locations! Do I think we are going to come together for some type of consensus? ABSOLUTELY NOT! It’s like getting a consensus at a party for just one topping on a pizza! So I say definitely talk about those things. Is it awkward? ABSOLUTELY! It’s going to be more awkward however when you find out your “boyfriend” is out there dating other people and not claiming you!
So let’s just briefly describe some of these differences so you can get a picture of what I’m talking about. Now the last guy I was romantically affiliated with (yes vague I know) . . . I considered us as “dating”. My meaning of that is two people that go on dates or hang out. He said we were “talking” which he considered to be two people that mutually like each other and hang out a lot. Both describe the period of time two people take to get to know one another and figure out if you both like each other. The next step for me would have been “talking” which to me is being more serious about considering to be boyfriend and girlfriend. So kind of like “unofficially together”. His next step in a relationship he called “dating” which was his term for being “in a relationship”. So while I had an extra step in the progression of a relationship, he did not. Only after I have “talked to” or “unofficially” been with someone would I eventually lead to the relationship that I called “being in a relationship”. So you can see how the different usages of the same words could definitely cause confusion! Then it’s like when you say “talking”, you have to add emphasis when you mean “taaalking” because it can get confused with conversing. What a hot mess!
In fact the other day one of my guy friends who I have been chit chatting with, I said to him, “You are the oldest person I ever talk to.” Which was me taking a dig at this age in a joking manner. Well I meant talk like converse, not talk like “talk” which made him jump back like whoa. We had to clarify that which was DEFINITELY AWKWARD but getting that out there was good because we both know we are on the same page. Then if indeed one of us was confused . . . because that happens, that fog has been lifted and we side-step any situations that might’ve popped up. Thanks for the inspiration homie!
Anyways, like I’ve stated in my other blog, every “relationship”, romantic or not, requires people to communicate with each other. People need to be on the same page so they can build trust and respect for one another. That way when you guys are “talking”, you both know exactly what that means, how it looks, and what is expected from both of you guys as partners.
Have you ever had an embarrassing mix up moment and are brave enough to share? Comment below! Any other words you have come across that have different meanings to different people? Let us know!