These days by the age of 25 you have probably gone through at least 1 phone of your significant other. I’m sure it’s probably more but at least 1, once. Why do we do these things? Well you probably had that suspicion he/she was out there doing something and you need the evidence or you are having some insecurities and you are looking for reassurance. 99/100 times you will find something you don’t like. They are talking to the members of the opposite sex in a way that you find inappropriate, they are over there on IG oogling pictures of the members of the opposite sex, they are disclosing your personal business to others, etc. The list of what you could find is limitless and yet you find yourself sighing as you uncover the dirt done by the other person. You feel the pressure of your blood increase, your face starts to flush with the heat of the anger and next thing you know your house is ground zero for WWIII.
The basic foundation of any relationship is trust. Trust and respect. Without either of these two there can’t be real love or loyalty. Period. You may think you can love someone but the lines between L-O-V-E and L-U-S-T have a tricky way of blurring together. Like you, I had to learn this the hard way. After all the fighting, yelling, sneaking around, and constantly supervising my other half I knew that was not the way a real relationship is supposed to be. Once trust is broken, respect is gone, and the relationship is constantly on pins and needles, it becomes almost impossible to piece together essentially the pieces that began the whole relationship in the first place. All in all, the entire venture has then become a complete waste of time and a new life-long lesson. Hopefully, unless it went over your head and you find yourself doing it again.
These days I find myself not even going down that road. If I don’t trust the person I’m supposed to be in a relationship with then I will gladly rather be single. I too have jealousy sometimes but I make a mental effort to curb my feelings. If they want to disrespect me and go astray, well then the relationship is null and void. I don’t want to have to constantly monitor someone as if they were my child and worry about them abusing my trust. It’s so much stress and energy wasted on someone who doesn’t deserve it. I did this for 3 years with an ex of mine and that was enough to learn that people are going to do whatever the hell they want and if he doesn’t respect me, he doesn’t deserve my trust/love/time/hand in marriage/etc. I’ve learned to pay attention to the red flags and heed them because my gut feelings are my intuitions that have picked up on the non-obvious signs I have overlooked. It’s not a perfect system or process but red flags mean run! I don’t have time to save any hoes or help someone rebound so they can move on to find the love of their lives. Moral of the story, if I feel like I need to snoop through someone’s phone, they aren’t worth my time because at the end of the day I don’t trust them to respect me. As the saying goes, there can’t be a strong, stable house without a foundation because without that foundation the house will fall down. It may not be the easiest decision to be alone but it’s better than wasting your time trying to build a mansion in sinking sand.