My self-love journey took me to Thailand and Bali last month. It was probably the best trip I’ve had in my life. Unlike other trips, I felt like during this trip, I became more me than I was before. I loved self, I meditated, I did a sound meditation, and I became one with my own self. I was real about the things that I wanted and became more confident in the things I wanted to manifest for myself. I detoxed from people, social media, alcohol, and other things that might have distracted me. I lived in the absolute moment and didn’t worry about anything that was not present and in front of me. It felt completely enlightening.
Now I never could’ve predicted ever going to SE Asia. That wasn’t a destination on the map that I was planning on going to anytime soon so when a friend of mine invited me along, I opened my mind to the opportunities of travel and decided that I would somehow go along. It was my own Eat, Pray, Love journey like the book by Elizabeth Gilbert. I didn’t know what to expect, I had no idea what adventures would lie in front of me and the unknown frankly excited me. So off I went.
Now in the past I had felt like there was a few occasions where I missed the journey or adventure because I was tied down to people, places, or things that I thought I would not be able to do without. I had regrets from not living true to myself. Mind you, I don’t have any children or anything so I shouldn’t feel like I was tied down. Fear is what tied me down. The fear of the unknown. What if I come back changed? What if I get lost? What if my boyfriend cheats while I’m gone? I realize that those fears were just something my own insecurities were trying to hold me back from and I could not LIVE with those fears. So, I became fearless. Relatively so. Of course, I have those misgivings when I’m on the precipice of change, but I learned to power through and trust myself. I know me and I know I will find a way. I know that no matter what, I am the only one on the planet who I am bound to and I will find a way to make things work. That right there is self-love. I noticed that the way I thought shifted. These aren’t chores in the house, this is me creating a clean environment for myself to thrive in. I’m not running on the hamster wheel, I am taking care of my health so that I can be better equipped to live. I’m not on a diet, I am eating better so that my body may live longer. Everything I do for myself, I do out of love.
Bangkok. Two days in Bangkok is enough. Literally. There’s so much to see and do but it can be a bit overwhelming with the amount of people, traffic and general city craziness. I felt like Bangkok was the eat part of our journey. We ate, we laughed, we went to several temples and saw the beauties of the architecture. The food was amazing, and it was really a chance to just be merry. Especially with the upcoming holiday. I had one goal. I wanted to get a Sak Yant. It is a tattoo done by a monk in a temple that inscribes a prayer on you. I didn’t actually get it the first few days I was there, but we will come back to that.
Phuket. Christmas in Phuket was awesome. The sun was shining, and the beach was very relaxing. The general attitude was pretty relaxed and going to the different islands was absolutely amazing. So much beauty in the outdoors. I got to appreciate nature and meditate in the most breathtaking scenery. There was of course, great street food in the night markets and I probably got one of the best massages ever in life for the low. Got to love that exchange rate.
Bali. Now before I got to Bali, I imagined that it was an island resort and I thought this would be the most relaxing part of my journey. Wrong. Bali is a bustling island full of life, laughter, and traffic. We rented a motor scooter to get around and it was an absolute blast. We probably almost died a few times but hey, we lived. This is where I think the most of my healing came in actually. I tried a sound meditation for the first time and after an hour of the gongs and sounds, I felt enlightened. I felt like me. I couldn’t talk for about an hour or so after. I had so much to reflect on. I had had visions while in my relaxed state that I needed to ponder. It was beautiful. I learned that I was overthinking and not saying my truths to my loved ones. Something I am now working on. Always a work in progress. Another thing, I had the joy of doing was yoga. Now I hadn’t done yoga in a while but the yogi I had went to was really intense. I thought I knew yoga. Now I know. He pushed us to our bodily limits encouraging us to stop thinking and over-thinking. Just be in the moment and put your leg where you don’t think it can go. My body had never sweated so much in my life. That was legitimately the best yoga class ever.
Back to Bangkok. Now I only had 2 days. I was leaving New Year’s Day and I could not leave without getting my tattoo. Talk about a struggle bus. It took me like an hour and half to find a reasonable taxi to take me to Wat Bang Phra, wait, and return me to my hotel. One thing about Bangkok taxis is if they don’t know where you’re going, they won’t take you. Another thing, if they can get you for more baht than the trip is worth, they will. So just be aware and do some research or ask your hotel concierge. So, the Sak Yant, tattoo, was probably one of the most awesome parts of my time in Bangkok. I was now enlightened, feeling like the purest me I’d ever felt, and totally in love with life. They have a book from which you choose which tattoo speaks to you the most. Mine was the lotus flower. For many different reasons. The lotus flower was a symbol of rebirth, purity of thought, and harmony. All the things I seek. In and around my flower the monk tattoo’d a prayer and afterwards I was blessed. I feel blessed.
Blessed in the fact that I have come to know self-love, blessed in that I have so many around me that are beautiful people and blessed that I have the ability to share my journey with others. My journey will never stop, and neither will yours. Keep looking forward, love the present, and learn from your past. Namaste.