Becoming Le Rae: Jekyll and Hyde

 

Now all of the names in this story have been changed for protection…. Not for them… For me… Yeah because I’m going to be lightweight talking shit… Or it may appear that way anyways… But whatever kick your feet up because this one is a doosey… I wish I could make up some of the things that I have encountered but alas… Life has a great sense of humor.

 

Have you ever met someone who was like a Jekyll and Hyde? Like they are one way sober then they get drunk and you’re like WHO TF IS THIS! Like whole energy is completely different. Talk about weird AF. Like one minute you’re with “Matt” and then the next moment it’s like whoa! Ummm HEY “CHAD”. It so disconcerting like you have to decide if that’s some shit you really have time for… By no means am I putting someone down with mental illnesses, this is just some regular ass “Joe” or whoever he feels like he is today. Now if this sounds like you… bro, please go get some counseling seriously because no one who drinks like that is happy. Seriously. If you need to drink a bottle by yourself without anyone else just because it’s Tuesday is not happy. Like for real though.

 

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Anyways so I end up going on this “date” with Chad. Now when I get there Chad is FUCKED UP. Which I felt awkward about anyways because like damn, did you really need to get “white girl wasted” to cope with my presence? So he is drunk AF, in a great mood, dancing around… I’m like he’s not even going to remember any of this shit happened… What’s crazy is that Chad is a happy drunk so as much as I was like wtf, he was mad annoying but his energy was pleasant to be around. I was like fuck it. I’m here. Let’s hang out. Now before I get too far ahead of myself, I used to date an alcoholic so quite frankly I guess I’m not really into men who drink. It takes me back to bailing my ex out of jail for DWI’s and all kinds of crazy shit that I shouldn’t have to deal with… So although I’m enjoying my time, my patience and attitude is real short. Back to the story, so we are hanging out, there’s a lot of chemistry and attraction, I thought it was all going to be cool. As time goes by I start noticing that the energy levels are going down and then things started to get super awkward. Like I’m cringing in my skin…

 

 

 

 

Next date, so here I am with Matt. Matt is Chad and Chad is Matt. I get there and this guy was sober AF. Like quiet and everything. None of that chemistry or energy is in the building. I was like whoa. To Matt’s defense, he was actually not annoying sober. It was really like being on another first date. Except there’s none of that great chemistry that there was from before. Like I’m really over wondering to myself like can there really be such a stark difference? Like a whole different presence, a whole weird awkward vibe and honestly it made me sooooooo uncomfortable! I felt like I was hanging out with a stranger… well another person stranger… you know what I mean. So I decided I had to get out of there. I did not sign up for this!

 

Crazy thing about Matt/Chad is that he is in search for a “good woman”, who’s spirituals and in touch with the universe. A woman like that is peaceful and harmonious. No harmonious woman wants to be around someone so unhappy and off-putting! FACTS! BIG FACTS! Like a woman like that tends to have that healer spirit which I can tell you from experience, trying to “heal” a bird with a broken wing is toooooo much trouble. It took me one disastrous relationship to let me know that ain’t nobody got time for that. Especially if that said woman is trying find her own way through life in one piece. Misery real life wants company.

So healers beware of others trying to leach your good from you for their own gain. It’s like trying to save someone who is drowning. In their quest to stay above the water they will use you as a floatation device and you too will sink right down there with them. Honestly, I’m not getting paid to be a therapist, floatation device or healer. So needless to say I left that bird right where I found him. You have to look out for yourselves. People like Matt/Chad not to say are all bad people but being someone’s crutch in a relationship is not healthy for you either. That person needs to go seek help from someone who is certified with the knowledge and tools to help them cope with themselves and whatever demons they are haunted by. The older I get the more I understand that although you may love this person to death, they aren’t able to give you the relationship or love that you deserve. Now maybe one day they will come back to you but until they have healed, you will never have the life you want.

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