Another things I’ve learned on my self love journey is that loving self doesn’t mean you have to be selfish but also not selfless. When you are selfless, which can be admirable and even altruistic, it may actually undercut your self love. Self love isn’t being selfish but its setting those boundaries with other people in your life that allow you to love self and stay true to your truth. Whatever that may be.
I have always been the considerate type to take an L in order for the greater good for comfort for others. I realized that although that might make me a “good person”, that it doesn’t serve me to be a doormat or pushover if its something I’m really not wanting to do. There’s compromise which is mutual and then there’s living someone else’s truth.
Example: I was watching an old episode of the Mary Tyler Moore show the other day and Sue Ann Nivens wanted to have a party. Now Mary loves parties and social situations and agrees to go. In the same breath Sue Ann invites everyone to Mary’s house for her party. Mary doesn’t want to host but she caves in because she is a good person. Not because she wanted to. Now Sue Ann has inconvenienced her and she has to host a party she didn’t want to do. Self-love for her in that situation would’ve been to tell Sue Ann no. Self love for her would’ve been to set those boundaries up and not let herself be taken advantage of.
So in your journey don’t be afraid to speak your truths. Set up your boundaries. Love self and never be afraid to be yourself.